We produce publications for the RATIONAL REVOLUTIONARY and the IRATE INTELLECTUAL™. We also make STUFF for PEOPLE who like STUFF. Do you like STUFF? I do. But I digress....
SO, you probably still want to know what we make, right? Well, right now we are concentrating all our collective efforts™ on a little publication we like to call the WEAKLY TELEPATH (an ESSENTIALLY MENTAL publication). The WEAKLY TELEPATH is the middle ground between art and intellectualism. Yeah, we want to make you think, but we also want to make you smile. We'll do our best to do this in the least pretentious way possible, considering how douchey™ both art and intellectualism can be on their own.
WHY SHOULD I (NOT) BUY A COPY OF THIS ESSENTIALLY MENTAL PUBLICATION ?
Let me convience you with the magic that is BULLET-POINT. Because nothing makes your point quite like a BULLET to someone else's brain™!
- The WEAKLY TELEPATH is free. You aren't paying anything for it! Use it for toilet paper, roll it up to use it to beat your pets and/or children, eat it for sustenance, whatever! We just want it to be useful.
- You can get news from it, offline. Unless you are literally a dynamo you are going to need something to keep you informed when your fancy-dancy electronic MAMERJAMASdefinately™ run out of God's electron urine. And when that happens, AND IT WILL, what choice do you have? Us that's what!
- We have pretty pictures. Thats right, unlike the old Populist Press (the one read by my granny and about 5 other people), we have some nice shinny graphics for you to wrap your OPTICAL BRAIN PORTS™IS GETTING OLD...but™ to.
- Poems and stories and such. Yes, we have all sorts of artistic word combinations for your literary lovin'. We even brought back the serial. AW YEAH.
- Your opportunity for your work to be seen by tens of people! Thats right, we're taking submissions. Bring it on Orlando!
If this hasn't convinced you, what will? Did I mention that WE'RE FREE? You cheap bastard...
Oh yeah. We also are taking on advertisements which are guaranteed to be seen by hipsters so cool that they'll spend all their friends' money at your establishment. As long as you're INDEPENDENT and treat your employees like yourself (DONT lie we'll find out...we're the OMNISCIENT ESSENTIALLY MENTAL media. JUST TRY US.)